


"What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it? "

by skyblue993



Series: Electricity Saga. [2]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gossip Girl Fusion, Bitchy! Jude, Bossy!Jude, Cussing, Gossip Girl References, Jonnor - Freeform, M/M, Oneshot, Sexual contents., You charge me up like electricity Saga, collection of oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7740772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title of this oneshot by the song : "Good grief" by Bastille.</p><p>this is for Mimi.<br/>Beloved friend, motivation coach, nonsense conversations friend, and huge Inspiration for the "Electricity" Saga. :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Burns like fire, Electricity.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Title of this oneshot by the song : "Good grief" by Bastille.
> 
> this is for Mimi.  
> Beloved friend, motivation coach, nonsense conversations friend, and huge Inspiration for the "Electricity" Saga. :)

 

There was a time, not so long ago when I considered Connor Stevens my whole universe. It's funny, and a bit sad to be honest, how things change so fast sometimes that you find yourself from spending every minute and every second with someone to just pretend this person ever existed.. 

"Jude are you listening to me?" 

Not really.

"Yes.."

Taylor rolls her eyes as she shuts her book loudly. 

"Senior prom.. Queen and King.. And all that shit."

She flinches at both my tone and choice of words.

"Jude." She reaches for my hand as she lifts up my chin, coercing me into looking at her.

" This shit is what you aim for."

She gives an awkward laugh, looking at me with eyes blown wide because it's true...

I want all this shit. I want to win tonight.. 

I just would have liked having my king right beside me.

"I know.." I'm unable to refrain the soft sigh slipping out of my lips as I shake my head, trying to clear it from every "Connor Stevens" related thoughts.

Now It's not the right time to feel nostalgic.

She sighs as she tightens the grip on my hand. She bits her lips and knowing Taylor is a sign indicating that she knows something but she's unsure of saying it..

I can as well make things easier.

"Whataver you have to say, Taylor.. Just say it."

She flips her hair as she says.

"Nothing much to tell.. There's this news that reached my ear and I--"

"Cut the crap Tay."

I know, rude much am I? But people loves me for it so..

"He's single."

I feel My eyes widen comically, unable to refrain the histerical giggles slipping out of my lips.

"Wow, that's a new record. They've been together for what? Two days?”

"I heard he's still hung up on you.. "

I can't help but snort at that assertion.. Taylor's voice is almost judgy as she raises her eyebrow. 

Who would have thought that My best friend, The woman who hated Connor Stevens with all her heart, would turn into his biggest fan? 

She's the fucking Jonnor captain in this , _sadly_ , sunken ship.

 "Don't give me that look, Taylor."

She rolls her eyes as she counters.

"I just.." Her voice is filled with frustration as she groans, her hands running through her perfect curls.

"I don't get you two."

 "What's left to get? We talked, we disagreed, he was an asshole.."

"Jude.."

"Oh for fuck sake, Taylor."

I suddenly feel a constricting grip forming in my stomach. I'm not even hungry anymore... I suddenly want to be left alone.

" Why don't you go have lunch with him. I dunno maybe pat him on his back and console him for being dumped by the hot jock? "

Okay and after this I can officially drop this parade of not knowing every update about his life since I broke up with him.

Obsessed much, Jude?

" Just because we're best friends it doesn't mean I'm gonna patronize you by saying what you want me to say. I think you--" 

Before she has the chance to finish her sentences I'm already out of my seat.

"Jude!"

Rude. I know. But it's something I've endlessly put up with for months and I'm tired of being remembered of this, of how he tried to make me choose... I can't.

Everything has been flushed into the toilet and there's no way to bring things back, no way to rekindle what we were, what we had..

Connor Stevens doesn't even look at me. He totally ignores my existance and maybe is for the best, maybe if we pretend that we're completely over each other.. Maybe someday it will become real. 

"Hi."

My hand freezes mid air as shivers crawl up my spine. My blown wide eyes are staring blankly at the back of my locker, not daring to turn around.

Remember what I said about karma? Still real. Karma is a bitch.

I guess it's weird to spent the rest of the school day with my head stuck into the locker. It might seem weird so I slowly turn around,, meeting his hesitant eyes after seven months and I'm not used anymore to the raging pace of my heart beats pounding like an hammer against my chest.

"Connor."  Yeah, that's his name. "What can I do for you?"

I'm almost sickened by my own politeness. 

He shifts uncomfortably on his spot, lowering down his gaze fixing it on his hands, busy at the moment, fiddling with each other.

"Connor?"

He gives a deep intake of breath before lifting up his gaze. His hazel eyes meet mine.

"I just wanted to say.. Good luck."

My eyebrows lift up in confusions.

"You know, for the election of prom's King." He fills in with a hint of smile filling his voice. 

I wonder if he really means it..

" Thanks." I tell him and like usual bitchiness takes over my body and mouth.

"Even though I won't need it."

Right now he's the one furrowing an eyebrow, an adorable, _okay Jude stop it right now,_ confused frown creeps over his features.

"I will totally win."

"You seem pretty confident about it."

I give a shrug of my shoulders as I slam my locker with an unnecessary force .

"Have you met me?”

He opens his mouth as to say something, then he flinches.. Closing it again.

"Well.." He says with a hesitant smile on his lips. " I'm just gonna go."

Not awkward at all.

It almost feels like the old time, when we used to talk near my locker between classes and he used to say that exact line-- _because that's what people use to say when they say goodbye, Jude._ My brain reminds me _\--_ still.. he used to lean in before kissing me and I used to say..

"Bye, 'Love you."

Fuck. Shit. I said it out loud, did I?

Out eyes eyes grow huge as I immediately realize what I just said. See, this proves that I can't possibly keep up a coherent interaction with him.

Fuck.. I can't even look at him.. I feel my whole face turning warm and probably crimson..

Then, when I finally get a grip and I lift up my eyes.. My heart stops beating inside of my chest.

"Jude.." 

His voice..

So deep and pleading..

Oh no.. no,no,no Stevens.. don't even try giving me that look.

I can't go through this all over again. I have no tears or energies left to give you.

“It was just a slip of tongue.”

I swear I can detect, just by the way his face falls, That his heart has just shuttered in million tiny pieces inside of his chest.

Despite the firmness of my voice or my steady, impassive face it doesn't mean I'm not hurt because I am.

I just learned to hide myself from him.

What I feel, what I think.. 

I used to be a open book to him, once.. Now I'm just a chapter of his life.

He nods, sniffing slightly as a sad frown creeps over his features..

He stoods there, few feets away from me with hands in his jeans pockets unsure about what to do or what to say..

He looks at me for a long moment and I try my best to keep up with this staring game.. he's like he's waiting for me to give in.. Then he wets his lips, letting out a distressful sound out of his throat.

"You sure?" He asks with a hint of tease in his voice that almost sounds like he's assuming something..

"It was." My voice's oddly steady considering the way my whole body's trembling. Am I trying to convince him or myself? 

He smirks. _God, the things that smirk does to me.._

" Don't give me that look!"

"No need to get all flustered."

I can't fucking believe this..

"Fuck you, Stevens."

This moment takes me back to the Golden days of harmless teasing and hidden feelings... It both irritates and Amuses me especially when he sasses back.

 " Perharps in the back of a limo? "

I know... I know I shouldn't be blushing or get irritated by this, but seriously.. After all we've gone through.. Has he seriously thrown This shade? Oh.. Game on.

"I wouldn't say that.. you know.. _Not your best performance_."

Definitely not true.

That was probably the best, hottest, most intimate, most unforgettable sexual experience I've ever experienced with him.

I'm unsure of the reason behind it, to be honest, Connor is literally a God of sex..

His mouth falls open, forming a perfect "O" as he looks outraged by what I've just said.

"I didn't hear you complaining.."

Well.. There was nothing to complain about, really..

We have had sex.. A lof of sex. We basically started our relationship with sex but that first time.. Awkward and rushed as our bodies, hands, minds Connected.. Will always be my favourite. 

He looks at me with questioning eyes as an uncomfortable silence suddenly falls over us.

It's strange. Not sure if in a good or bad way because my body is being hit by waves of.. _Electric shocks_ spreading right through me. 

If I have to be completely honest with myself in this exact moment.. I'd be willing to keep this silence between us because our eyes are telling everything it needs to be said.

It has always been like that. We've always been better at communicating with our eyes than with words..

I don't really know what my eyes are saying but I can see, from the way his lips part slightly, releasing a short intake of breath, and his eyes grow huge and shiny..

I'm smiling.

My eyes shift from his face to where Taylor is waiting for me.. Just across the hallways.. 

My throat feels sore as the words come out.

"I gotta go."

He gives a nod as he bits his lips.

"I should go too.. My aunt is probably waiting for me."

I give a polite nod as I walk away from my locker.

I don't know if I do this on purpose but I feel a sharp pang of loss in my chest as our shoulders brush slightly against each other.

I hear him giving a soft gasp as I walk past him..

"Jude?"

I slowly turn around, ignoring the way my heart beats one mile a minute as Our eyes meet again.

"Yes ?" 

I fucking knew that my voice would come out shaky, considering the way my whole body is trembling.

"I hope you win tonight."

 

 

"Fucking Connor Stevens with his fucking charming attire and sweet eyes and tempting lips.."

I don't have to turn around to see Taylor rolling her eyes. I can feel her gaze on my back as I fix my tie.

"Weren't you completely over him?" Taylor sasses with teasing voice.

"I'm completely over him."

"That sounds like a lie if you ask me.."

My voice comes out almost completely silent as I murmur under my breath.

"That's why I'm not Asking."

Because Taylor is the voice of truth and I'm completely sure that what I just told, Both to myself and to Taylor, is a shameful lie.

###

 

I know I'm used to attention, but being on this stage.. Being clapped at when I'm announced King of prom.. Is one of the most unforgettable moments of my life..

"Congrats.." 

Daria's voice is completely lacking of enthusiasms as she lays the crown on my head. I'm too freaking excited to bother and slaying her in this moment.

As people keeps applauding me and Missy Thomas, elected queen of prom, my eyes fall inevitably on him.

I Can't help it.. my eyes are drawn to him like he's standing in a spotlight.. _he's all I can see_ in the crowd of people.

He's standing next to Taylor, smiling as he says something to her.. never breaking his gaze on me.

It's something apparently very shocking considering the look of pure surprise on Taylor's face and the way she smiles.. And puts her hands over her mouth...

"We're supposed to dance..." 

Missy's hesitant voice breaks my chain of thoughts. She doesn't seem sure of this.. As we sways on the dance floor, her arms awkwardly laced around my neck, she keeps throwing glances from over my shouders..

My arms falls off her hips and her eyes grow huge as I take a step back from her. Before she has the chance to ask, I'm already giving her the truthful explanation.

"You should dance with your king.."

She smiles hesitantly.

"A-Are you sure? I mean.. It's Prom's tradition.."

I can't refrain the snort slipping out of my lips.

"Fuck the tradition. This is our night.. We should spend this moment with the one we love.."

I can only hope to be as fortunate, one day..

She nods as she takes one step closer, hugging me briefly before reaching for her man.

Timmy looks so happy and honestly.. I'm happy too.

I might not be as lucky as Missy, but at least there's someone here who loves me too. Unconditionally.

"Dance with me."

Taylor smiles brightly from her seat. She's about to stand up but then her smile quickly fades..

"I.. I can't."

"Are you friendzoning me, Taylor?"

She gives a loud laugh before reaching for my hand. She seems nervous and suddenly something crosses my mind.

"You should dance with Someone else.."

"With who?!" 

She throws me a deadpan glare who simply says: "Are you serious, right now?"

She nods her head towards where he's sitting.. All alone, drinking punch.

"Absolutely not."

She lets out one loud frustrated groan.

"Jude. Would you, for God sake, trust me for once?"

I trust you. I just don't trust us And our ability to hurt each other.

She frowns as she steps closer, laying her hands over my shoulders to take a better look at me and my glossy eyes. Fuck.

"You love him. You love him so much that's consuming you.. "

"Love sometimes it's just not enough, besides.. He's probably over me."

My gaze falls on my feet, unable to keep eye contact with her, not without falling apart.

She sighs loudly and I raise my eyes to look at her. She looks at me for a long moment, biting her lips in a frustrating kind of way..

"Fuck.."

"What?" 

She doesn't reply.

"Taylor, what?"

She gives a loud sigh before shaking her head, a nervous laugh escaping her lips.

"I probably shoudn't tell you this. I promised and he's probably gonna kill me but I can't stand here and witnessing to  your self- destruction.."

###

 

He's still taking a sip of his punch, sitting miserably at his table..

He almost chokes on his drink and He makes me smile as he wipes at his mouth clearly surprised by seeing me here, Smiling widely and Looking at him like time has never passed and things has never been fucked up.

"Jude. Hi."

He blushes and that makes me smile wider.

I hold out my hand to him as I ask him.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

 He smiles so blindly that almost takes my breath away.

"I would love to."

He takes my hand and as we step towards the dance floor I try to ignore the fluttering feeling spreading through my stomach. _Butterflies._ I should have known..

He blushes as he rests his hands on my hips while I lace my hands around his neck, holding on tightly.

We sway in silence for few minutes, then I hear him giving a soft sigh before breaking the silence.

"I don't understand.."

"I know what you did."

His cheeks turn pink and flushed as he nervously bits his bottom lip.

"Damn Taylor.."

"I can't believe you did that.."

I'm not surprised when I hear my own voice starting to tremble and my eyes stinging, but just slightly.... no worries..

"You--” I give a nervous laugh as I tell him. “ I wasn't supposed to win and you--"

"I just wanted you to be happy."

His thumb reaches for my cheek, stroking and wiping one tear running over my flushed skin.

"You voted for me."

"150 times."

He confirms as he gives a soft nod of his head. I don't know if my emotional state is making me feel things but I swear I feel the grip on my hips tightening.

"But why..? I mean.. You didn't have to.."

"Why, you're asking me?" His voice gets filled with frustration as he groans.

"Because.. I did the most dangerous thing when I told you I love you.. Have you any idea of what that meant?" 

He gives a deep exhale of breath as he continues.

"I opened up myself to you in a way that I haven't done with anyone else. You were the one." 

My heart aches with pain as tears are spilling down my eyes.

"You _are t_ he one. And yes, I freaked out when you told me that you're going to Yale this fall and we'll go on separate ways.. And I said some shitty things and I regret what I said every single day of my life, okay? I just couldn't stand the thought of being so far away from you--"

"I told you." My voice is thick with tears as I give him a significant look.

"I told you that no distance really matters, not when you love someone so fiercely. I have enough faith in us to believe that we can actually do this because I love you and I trust you."

He sighs contently as he runs his hand over my cheek leaving a trail of shivers crawling up my spine.

"I know that now.. I've experienced what it meant not having you in my life and It made me realize that it's you, who I want, and we're gonna get through this."

My heart feels so light yet so loud as he beats fiercely against my chest.

I lift my hand up, moving a strand of hair off Connor's gorgeous eyes, they looks even clearer right now as they lock with nto mine.

"I missed you.."

He has this thousand watt smile on his lips as he slowly leans closer to me.

I missed the moment of anticipation that precedes our lips to meet.

It has always been my second favorite moments.. You can guess what's topping that moment..

It's this; Our lips, salty and dry, finally meeting again and pressing insistently against each other.

It's overwelming, the need of feeling him against me. It makes me feel lightheaded and crave for more.

He pulls away with a loud gasp, the outline of his smile still pressed against mine makes me smile too.

"I love you." I feel the need to say it like the air I'm breathing. It's astonishing. 

"Come with me." He smirks as he pulls me away from the dance floor. That's absolutely fine by me.

Taylor gives a thumb up as we walk past her table and towards the exit.

"Well isn't this a nice dejavu..”

He laughs brightly as he holds the door open for me.

"After you, your highness."

I happily oblige and the moment I step into the familiar limo, my heart starts pounding erratically inside of my rib cage, my lungs literally drained out of air.. 

But The moment He steps inside before pulling me into a deep kiss.. Every fear, every thoughts, every single doubts.. It just disappear.

He laughs against my lips as he slowly slides my jacket off my shoulders.

"What are you trying to do, Stevens?" 

He smirks as he slowly unbuttons my shirts..

"Just reedeming myself.."

He slides my shirt off my shoulders Gently pushing me against the backseats..

"… Since apparently it hasn't been my best performance..."

He lays gentle kisses along my collarbone as he fiddles with my pants, his hot breath forming goosebumps on its wake.

"Oh.."

As I give my contribution to help him getting rid of his clothes, he keeps running his lips all over my skin and I can't help but close my eyes.

I lean into his warm body, savouring every gentle strokes of his fingers, every kiss on my burning skin, every short intake of breath slipping out of his lips as he slips inside of me.

He moves gently and slowly, dragging it out until we're both high off pleasure.

He keeps moving above me, whispering sweet promises into my ear. That's one, in particular, that catches my attention.

_"Nothing will take us apart."_

And this time, we're both willing to believe that.

 

 

 


	2. So far away, but still so near.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to keep writing this series but as oneshots.. Because there are a lot of beautiful moments I want to recreate for Jonnor so.. Here we go..
> 
> PS: Warning.. this chapter contains sexual contents.. and take note that this series belongs to "You charge me up like Electricity." So if you feels a bit weird out by this bitchy Jude, you should read the main work first.  
> Now on the chapter..  
> :)

It's always the same shit over and over again, playing like a broken record.

It's almost an addiction for me.. For the both of us, this chasing game.. It's what has always made _us,_ being us.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this point.

It's like fire, whenever he's close. I can feel it settling into my bones and then flare up through my whole body.

I can as well say that it doesn't completely turn me on or making me crave for more.. But we all know it would be a shameless bullshit.. So here we go, Attending the same party at my house, Where I invited him, but stubbornly refusing to acknowledge each other's presence.

It's our thing, our routine If you want, it's always the same performance over and over again.. I doubt it will ever change because we're both stubborn and uncontrollably assholes so the chances to apologize or admitting the mistakes we made is definitely not even an option.

He keeps chatting with his friends, throwing brief glances at me as I keep chatting with my girls, throwing brief glances at him and we both pretend that our eyes are just deceiving us..

He's not looking at me, because he doesn't care, and I'm not looking at him because I don't give a shit about him not caring.. 

"Hey, J." 

"Hello, Thomas."

My whole body freezes as Thomas Jecksen, member of the football team, approaches me with a relaxed, too much relaxed I might add, smile on his face..

Here we go again..

He hugs me.

Shit.

I close my eyes, dreading this moment to end.. Because Thomas is sweet ( exaggeratedly so) and this, his ways of showing affection it's purely platonic, it's just how he is. Hugging and smiling his friends, and acquaintances, and people he just met once.. okay, maybe he's kind of a hoe but what I'm sure of is that He's not trying to steal me away from Connor-- also because he has a fucking girlfriend-- even though my stubborn / asshole boyfriend Just can't accept it.. but come on, how can you say to someone to just..  _"Hey man, don't hug me."_

It's fucking rude man.

I open my eyes as soon as he pulls away and even though I try not to..

Shit.

His face.

Eyes blown wide and blazing, jaw clenched as he holds the red cup so tight that it's...

oh okay, he squashed it.

He excuses himself from his friends as he throws the destroyed red cup into the nearest bin.

Thomas's voice brings me back on the real world.

"Cool party, Bro!"

"Thanks Thomas."

"I'll go find my girlfriend."

"Tell Taylor I miss my best friend.."

He laughs as he gives me an high five.

"Bros before hoes, man."

That's... that's Not the same thing but..

"Yeah, okay."

Thomas is a bit of a stoner.

He gives a loud laugh as he excuses himself, waving his hand.

"Bye.."

 

It's been two hours and everyone has already left by now.. Except for him. Connor Stevens. Why I'm not surprised?

I don't know if he does this on purpose but Connor walks past me as he leads his way to the front door and he.. Has this mischievous smirk on his lips as he walks past me and his arm brushes slightly against mine.

"Fucking asshole."

He freezes on his spot before turning around, the same smirk still printed on his lips, way wider.

"Sorry, I haven't heard you sweetie. "

The corner of my mouth starts tugging up-- against my own control-- as he takes one step closer, a look of challenge flashing across his eyes. I know that look. It sends a rush of anger (and adrenaline.) through my whole body.

"You should check your hearing then, I've heard ageing is a beast."

"My Hearing is perfectly fine, _love_."

"Don't go all Fifties housewives on me, _darling._ "

"Oh, I would never." 

I hear myself gulping down some saliva as he takes one more step closer until there are barely two inches of space between our bodies.

 _Don't let him wi_ n. My head screams and I'm not intentioned to.. I swear, But my heart and my weakest part of body definitely wants me to throw myself at him.

His blazing gaze combined with the addictive smell of his cologne, my favourite cologne of his, plus his sexy body wrapped in this suit that just fits him so so well..

 _It's hard_.... and yeah, the situation ain't all sunshine and rainbows either..

He leans in and he softly brushes his lips against my ear. The feather touch makes me close my eyes for a split second.

"Did you like it? When he touched you?"

I wish my voice wouldn't come out so feeble as I retort.

"He wasn't touching me."

"Sure he wasn't. I saw his filthy hands all over you."

My eyes snap open at the harsh tone of his voice. I can't refrain the angry groan erupting out of my throat as I give him a forceful push, he limps backwards with an even more pissed expression all over his face. God, he makes me want to kiss him even more..

"How many times do I have to tell you? He's my friend and He's Taylor's boyfriend for fuck sake."

"He's bi!" He roars in frustration as he runs his hands through his hair. “Besides, he's all touchy feely with you, are you fucking blind?"

The edge of possessiveness filling his voice makes me hard against my own will. Jesus, what his voice does to me.. but that doesn't mean this is okay. This jealousy is definitely something I'm fucking tired of.. No matter how a fucking turn on is.

It's the same argument over and over again.. I'd say something like, "Why don't you trust me?" And he'd come closer, cupping my face before whispering with a hint of desperation filling his voice, "I trust you. I don't trust him." I'd start crying and he'd sigh before kissing away my tears.. But this time something shifts in our routine because this time we're both raging and I have not a clue about what this means and it's freaking me out like never before.

I've always found comfort in our routine and in the awareness that it would always end up in the same way.. But this time I'm not sure and as we're glaring at each other, I feel a sharp pain settling in my chest as the words slip out of my lips without even realizing it, without even connecting my brain to my mouth.

What comes out surprises more me than Connor.

"God, I hate you."

It hurts when he doesn't even flinch. The corner of his mouth trembles slightly like he's trying to hold back a smirk. This makes me hate him even more.

"I hate you so fucking much." 

I don't know what I'm doing Or saying.. I Guess I'm trying to provoke him, Torment him, even.. Taking charge of this so that it could end in the way I want, we want..

"I never hated anyone more."

He doesn't flinch or blink.. He takes one step forward though. Our bodies are soon pressed against each other.

"I'm consumed by my hatred for you."

I wait for his reaction, I look up and I meet his eyes.

He's smiling. The asshole Is really smiling. I would smile too if I wasn't completely enraged by him.

"I hate you."

He leans in until our noses are brushing against each other. When he guides His hand to rests on my hip, the touch makes me close my eyes just briefly because it's always like that, when he touches me I always end up surrendering to his touch.

I Hear him giving a short intake of breath against my lips before finally speaking.

"I hate you more."

He smiles against my lips before closing he gap between them.

It's pathetic how Disperately I need his body against mine and that's even more pathetic because I hate him. _I really do.._

His hands moves downwards lifts my body up by My ass before he sits me up on the glorious piano.

I give a soft whimper against his lips as he deepens the kiss, gently moving his tongue inside of my mouth.. Fuck his lips are so damn soft. 

My eyes flutter close as he runs his lips down my neck and suddenly, The motion of his roaming hands and the trail  of his lips sucking and biting, and his breath hot and desperate against my skin, it makes me feel like he's touching me everywhere. Sensory overload.

 "Connor..." I'm truly embarrassed by the desperation filling my voice..

"Connor, stop.." 

He laughs against my neck, sending shivers down my spine as he breathes heavily against my skin, sweaty and warm..

He pulls away slightly, just few inches in a way that allows him to take a look at me, at my face and _my eyes._

Like I knew he would, He says. "I'm only gonna ask this once, Jude."

I don't know How I'm gonna put up with this since it's been four seconds and I already miss the taste of his tongue running down my skin as he licks sweat in its descendant.. Or the soft pants tickling the side of my neck, just like His sweaty hair previously brushing against my cheek and making me shiver.. and how I'm gonna keep it together if I'm already feeling the withdrawal of him, huge and hard rock against my thigh..

"Do you want me to stop?"

I give a loud sigh as I grab hold of his shirt before pulling him once again against me.

 He sighs contently against my mouth as his hand starts trailing downwards, slowly unbuttoning my shirts. Once it's fully unbottoned it he doesn't even bother sliding it off my shoulder, he just leaves it like that.

He gives a soft moan as he trails his mouth down my chest..

"Fucking hell.."

He gives a soft laugh against my stomach as he gets rid of my pants. In no time I'm sitting on the piano in only my underwear and shirt (even if it's half stripped.) on.

"I love you " he pants against my thigh and believe me when I say that the wrecked sounds slipping out of his lips in the throes of lust it's the hottest thing I've ever experienced in life...

"I hate you." He looks up meeting my eyes and maybe there's something that my eyes are doing... Because he gives a sigh of relief, smiling sofly.

"Don't laugh, you Asshole. Get to work."

His smile widens as he counters.

"Rude, Jesus." 

I can't hold back the amused laugh escaping my lips.

"Maybe.. he'll listen to my prayers and make you going at it."

He finally slides off my boxer before Discharging it on the floor. Finally.

He gives a tentative lick as he tries to suppress the laughter at my constant ranting..

"Move. For the love of God just take me into your mouth."

He drags it on, the motherStevens. He's painfully slow.. He takes his time and I get it.. I really do, but please...

"Do I need to come downstairs and make you?"

Bossy. Check.

Fucking rude. Also check.

Painfully turned on. Check this one too.

Connor Stevens trying to torture me..

He has an adorable yet confused frown creeping over his features as I slightly push him backwards before jumping off the piano.

"W-What?" His blown wide eyes are staring into mine as his plump and swollen, that makes wonder since he barely had me into his mouth, part slightly as he catches his breath.

I grab hold on his shirt as I drag his trembling body against me.

He moans as soon as our mouth crash together and his hands don't waste any time in lacing around my waist.

There's no space between us, not at all and the more he keeps kissing the hell out of me, the more I grow frustrated because well.. I'm completely naked and he's still wearing his fucking shoes, for God sake..

"Connor.." 

He stops kissing me the moment my wrecked voice echoes through the living room.

He looks at me with questioning eyes, harmless and clueless as he pants against my lips.

"Yes?"

Oh for the love of God..

"Get rid of your clothes before I lose my damn mind."

 He Breaths heavily against my lips with an annoyed frown spreading over his fratures that against any expectations it causes me to smile because it turns into his gorgeous, heart stopping smirk That makes Connor Stevens the most beautiful boy I've ever laid my eyes on.

"You're so sexy when you're bossy."

He quickly get rids of clothes and in a blink of an eye he's standing across from me, completely naked in his gloriousness. Wow, just... Wow.

I can't help but raise my eyebrow when my eyes meet his erection, hard and waiting for me to just drop on my knees.

"Oh my fucking God, Jesus, Jude."

It's hard and heavy against my tongue as I run my mouth over the lenght of his shaft, moaning loudly as he grabs hold of my hair trying to take charge of the pace of this moment.  

I take him into my mouth and I feel my own dick dripping precome from the tip at the  delicious sight I find before my eyes.

Connor looks ravishing in the throes of lust, with eyes closed in pleasure and lips part as loud moans slip out of his lips. 

I close my eyes with the purpose of hearing those delicious sounds for the rest of my life but suddenly he yanks my head back by my hair, the void inside of my mouth feels so distressful as he slips out of my lips.

I look at him and he's breathing heavily with eyes still closed like he's trying to get a hold on himself, keeping it together.

I make a weak attemp of standing up on my weak legs and as soon as I'm up, in more way than just one, he immediately pulls me into his arms while murmuring muffled words against my shoulder.

My whole body trembles against him as he softly whispers messy words like, " _Mine_." Or " _Perfect._ " And " _Fuck you."_

"Rude."

He laughs against my neck as he runs his finger down my spine. The almost nonexistent touch makes me crave for more. Please, Connor give me more..

"I think you were born to torture me."

I can't refrain the hollow laugh escaping my lips at that assertion but then my answer is very predictable at this point, regretting every single world the moment they leave my mouth..

"You shouldn't stick around, then."

He gives a pained sound out of his throat as he makes me look at him in the eyes, so clear and filled with something I can't quite catch..

"My life would probably be easier.."

I give a nod, ignoring the sound of my heart shattering inside of my chest and when he lifts my chin up I realize I dislodged my gaze from his eyes.. the sound of those words are just enough to kill me, I just can't deal with the look in his eye as he utters them out.

"But it wouldn't be my life without you in it." 

"I.. "

He raises his eyebrow, looking expectantly for my answer..

"I can't imagine my life without you."

He smiles as he turns me around. Taking a guess of what his intentions are, I rest my hands on the edge of the piano as he hugs me from behind.. His soft breath caressing my skin as he whispers in my ear.

"Hopefully we'll never have to find out."

Perfect answer, Connor Stevens now please..

"Take me."

His smile keeps carressing my skin as he drops on his knees and.. Oh dear God.. Without even waiting for me to adjust to the feel of his tongue inside of my ass, he starts licking softly And then more hungrily, ferociously and with renewed energy, fast and mercilessly.. taking his own pleasure by the sounds of my loud moans of delicious desperation echoing through the living room.

I feel my legs buckling as he keeps licking and sucking and oh Fuck teasing with his finger.. Damn, Stevens.

We reach the point of no return when I feel my whole body going numb and I find myself laying on my stomach against the cold surface of the piano.

My body is drained out of energy and my brain is so clouded out with lust that I can't seem to register his chest pressed against my back as he lays soft, open mouthed kisses over my spine.

I can't do this anymore, I need him hard and deep inside of me or I think I might die right here.

The mental image of my moms finding me completely naked and decesead against this piano makes me laugh for a moment. 

"What?" Connor asks with a hint of smile filling his voice. I shake my head in response, my laugh has short life because I hear myself giving a deep exhale of breath the moment He slips inside making me feel like I'm completely drained ouf of oxygen.

"Yes, oh.. Connor. Fuck."

He gives a breathless laugh as he speds up on the force of his thrusts, so fast.. Making me lose my mind over and over again.

It's so fucking hot. I feel like mush into his hands which for the record are tightening the grip on my hips. I let out a breathless shriek when I feel his nails digging deeper the harder he thrusts inside of me.

 "Mine." He groans with an edge of possessiveness filling his voice that doesn't leave me any choice if agree with that assertion.. Because it's the truth..

_Because We can scream at each other. Tell each other to fuck off.._

"Say you're mine, Jude." 

_We can pretend that this love isn't destructive for the both of us._

“Say it..”

He loosens the tight grip on my hips while he slowls down on his pace until he's completely still, inside of me.. 

"I need you to tell me.." 

I can feel his erection twitching inside of me as he holds himself back.. Waiting for it, for my words, for my wrecked voice whimpering breathlessly..

_..But we both know that we wouldn't want it any other way.._

"I'm yours.."

Only then he starts moving again.

If someone asked me what's my favorite moment, in this kind of situation.. Yeah, I know it's kind of weird asking someone: "What's your favorite moment during sex?" But still, My answer would be _this._

Because there's nothing more appealing, nothing sexier than his groans of pleasure playing into my ear as he holds me tighter and even though it's almost impossible for me to move or breathe even.. It's something incredible, the rush of adrenalyn it sends through my whole body when he comes Deep inside, filling me up with what's _his_ and becomes _mine._

It might sounds weird but.. The moment he comes inside of me, he marks me as his, and no one else's.

And only then, especially when we're like this, Greedy and insatiable of each other (Even rude on occasions.), Only then it's impossible for me to hold back the words escaping my lips as I reach the edge of my orgasm.

"I love you.."

He lets out a sound of appreciation out of his throat as he breathes heavily against my skin. I feel his chest rising and falling against my back as droplets of sweat are running down his chest and I know it's silly but this is my _second_ favorite moment because it feels like we're just one _mind,_ _body_ and _soul_ as we move and breathe at unison.. Then, when he's (kind of.) recovered from the high of the moment he rests his head against my back, laying soft kisses over my skin and he finally says it back.

"I love you too."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on twitter: En_sky9  
> And tumblr: skyblue993


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